THE FINE ART OF RUNNING IN A ONESIE

With Michaela crop

Tiger collage
Me and pals Christina and Vici with Michaela Strachan; me roaring to go; muscle-soothing Tiger Balm; the much-deserved medal

There are a lot of things that seem like a good idea at the time but that you later live to regret: crowdsurfing, tattoos in a language you don’t speak/read/have any known connection to, your fifth jaegerbomb (usually). Add to that running a race in a tiger onesie.

Yesterday I  ran staggered the British 10k in London as part of the Tiger Balm team (along with 80s legend Michaela Strachan), raising awareness and funds for the Born Free Foundation – in a thick, fluffy tiger outfit (complete with hood with ears, natch). By 5k in the heat had become so unbearable I had a strange tingling feeling in my head, which I can only assume was the early warning sign of a stroke, and had to slip out of the top half. Still, it was worth it as the Foundation is a brilliant cause, protecting animals in the wild. Did you know that only approx 3,500 wild tigers remain in the WHOLE WORLD? Seriously tragic.

So if ever, like me, you find yourself in a situation that warrants running in a onesie – sporting or otherwise – here’s my advice to you:

  1. Commit to the onesie. Don’t make my mistake of wearing full running kit underneath “just in case” you want to take it off. You won’t be able to face the faff of peeling wet fur from skin (around 2k in the oneside essentially morphs into a wetsuit) so you will, instead, boil.
  2. Seek out one with arms. A must, so that you can slip out of the top half and tie it around your waist when the going gets rough. Sleeveless is false economy.
  3. Take your iPod… Or face listening to a man-made “soundtrack” of ‘I’m so hot, God I’m so hot, eugh so hot.’
  4. But turn it off for crowd-lined streets.  The shouts of ‘Go get em tiger’ kept me going. A onesie attracts attention. Lap it up.
  5. Wash the onesie. It is not – I repeat, not – OK to snuggle down in it for an afternoon of back-to-back Breaking Bad as recovery. That way festering lies.

Go forth and do Cara proud.

VITALS: thebritish10klondon.co.uk, @TheBritish10k; tigerbalm.com/uk, #TigerBalmUK; bornfree.org.uk, @BFFoundation

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